Traitor
by bluebirdheart
Summary: Achilles despises traitors. But what happens when that traitor is Patroclus?Darker fic. Loosely follows the movie, but more AU. NO SLASH.
1. Prologue

_**A/N:**_  
_Description: Achilles despises traitors. But what happens when that traitor is Patroclus._

_Warning: This story is not for the light hearted or those who are set on Achilles being a 'golden' guardian. A lot of emotions come along with betrayal and I hope to capture some of them throughout the upcoming chapters. The rating will start at T for some violence. (( NO SLASH)). This is AU because the events are not going to follow the movie exactly._

_This is the prologue - I hope to have chapter one up in a few days, but you never know._

_Disclaimer: ...I don't own._

_Enjoy :)_

* * *

_Each betrayal begins with trust. - Unknown_

The first time I learned the meaning of traitor was also the first time I had seen my cousin's vicious side.

At the time, I had been causally sitting in the practice room watching him run through some standard drills. My parents had only been dead for a few months, and being comfortable around the war-lord and my new guardian was something that was still new.

We had fallen into our normal silence that consisted of me watching and him running drills on repeat.

He swung his sword around in the same direction multiple times before stabbing the air. Sitting there chewing on a piece of fruit, that he had brought me, I knew that I wanted to be just like him when I got older. I was mesmerized.

"My Lord," Eudorus called as he entered the tent quickly without knocking, causing me to jump and almost choke on my fruit. If Achilles was startled, he didn't show it. He turned to greet his friend with a smile that froze on his face.

"We caught him."

A weird look, that I have never seen before, crossed Achilles's face as he stared at his right hand man.

"Where is he?" I winced at the hardness in my cousin's voice, and stared blankly at Eudorus.

"In the court yard," Eudorus glanced at me momentarily, then back to his captain. "He's already been tied up."

Achilles nodded without a word, crossed the room and began to rummage through the different weapons and shields that he kept there. Finally choosing a long looking stick with thin chords attached to it, he rose and crossed back to the door.

Eudorus mumbled something to him lowly, and Achilles froze turning his head back towards me.

I had never seen my cousin look so scary or angry in my life. Not even when the priest, escorted me to his house in Pthia after my parents died.

At the time, he had thrown a nearby goblet across the room. I jumped but it didn't scare me because I felt like doing the same thing.

His eyes then had held pain, but his eyes were now cold and full of hate. "Patroclus, stay here."

I shivered, but before I could agree, he was gone.

I stared at the piece of half eaten fruit in my hand, no longer hungry I casted it aside and stood.

Being alone was awful. I would often would follow Achilles around becoming like a shadow to him. Some of Achilles's men found it amusing and took to calling me "mini-hilles."

When I had asked Achilles about it later that day, after Eudorus first christened me, he had just smiled and rubbed my golden locks, "It just means that you're a warrior in training."

I paced restlessly around the tent now. The walls felt like they were closing in on top of me.

No longer able to stand being alone and restrained to the practice tent, I set my shoulders back and pushed through the door.

The air outside was sticky and hot. Even though the sea wasn't that far away, the breeze wasn't carrying to the tent on the hill.

Eager to see what had caused my cousin to be so angry, I turned towards the courtyard hoping that this was the one that Eudorus had mentioned.

The steps were mostly broken stone but still easy to climb. Taking them two at a time, my body continued towards my cousin's main house and its adjoining courtyard.

At the gate, I froze when a loud crack soared through the thick evening air. Curious, I poked my head over the gate, only to be met by a loud, agonizing scream.

The sight that laid before me made my stomach turn. A man was on his knees, back bleeding, and tied to my favorite climbing tree. My breath caught when I recognized the man as one of my cousin's warriors, the Myrmidons.

My eyes quickly scanned the rest of the small garden. The rest of the Myrmidons seemed to be there too, including my cousin and Eudorus. The men almost looked humorous standing in the small garden forming a semi-circle around the tree with their enormous bodies.

Another crack and chilling scream brought my attention back to the center of the circle.

Beside the man with the bloody back, my cousin stood holding the stick he had fetched earlier. He raised it in the air and flecked his wrist, causing the chords to lash out violently and land on the man's back.

I gasped as the whip ripped some skin off of the man's back. Nobody heard me though, because the man let out another wild scream.

Why was Achilles doing this to one of his own men? My stomach twisted again, wondering what this man had done.

Achilles raised his wrist again and I closed my eyes not able to watch my new guardian cause such pain. The main hollered out before the whip even landed stopping Achilles.

"No, Achilles! Have mercy!" His voice was shake as if he was searching for a breath that wouldn't come. "Please...," It faded off, and I squinted my eyes open to see Achilles hand Eudorus the stick.

The great warrior squatted down to the man's level, who was now laying face down on the garden floor. He spoke so lowly to him that I couldn't hear what was being said.

Achilles stood up gracefully and I feared that he would grab the stick again. Instead, he nodded towards Eudorus and then turned toward the gathered men.

"The traitor," his voice was stern, "has told me the information that he has spoken to our enemies."

The men began mumbling to themselves in wonder, and I wondered what this exactly meant. "He has paid for his crimes," Achilles voice carried out over the crowd, "with a confession and thirty stripes."

Most men nodded their agreement, while a few called that he should be tortured more or even killed.

Achilles raised his hand and the Myrmidons voices were instantly quiet again. My cousin scanned the faces of each of his men, "This is our brother that betrayed us." He gestured to the man on the ground. "That makes it all the worse." A mummer of agreement shot up from his comrades.

"His information to our enemies could have cost us our lives." Again, men nodded and the braver ones called for more justice to be served.

I leaned forward as Achilles opened his mouth to continue to speech, but he stopped short when his eyes fell on me.

My heart dropped in my chest and my mouth fell open in shock. I instantly turned on my heels, as images of myself being the one beat with the whip passed through my head.

I hadn't listened to his command and left the tent.

I pushed passed the garden walls. Jumping over the stones that I knew were broken, I busted through the front door of Achilles's house moments later. A servant called out to me, but I ignored them as I pushed past them to my small room. Grabbing my mother's small journal and my father's knife, I turned to leave the room.

"Patroclus," My heart jumped in fear when I saw my cousin standing in the door. "Going on a trip?" he questioned, eyeing the journal and small knife in my hand.

A scream filled the air and I wondered if the man was being beat again. It wasn't till Achilles squatted down to my eye level, that I realized it was me screaming.

"Cousin -,"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," I breathed, throwing myself backwards, placing my back firmly against the wall. My lungs felt like they were about to explode and I stared at him, ready for his next move.

He briefly looked like he had been hit. "You're afraid of me," but it sounded like a statement instead of a question.

"Patroclus-," he reached an arm out and I flinched away from his touch dropping the journal, but swinging the knife in front of me. I tried to copy the movement that I had seen him repeat earlier with the sword in the practice tent.

"Easy now," his voice didn't sound angry, "you're gonna hurt yourself." He gently reached forward, latching his large hand around my wrist causing me to drop the knife in his free hand. As soon as he secured the knife, he released his own hold from my wrist and leaned back.

"I'm sorry," I gasped again, feeling light headed. "I'll listen next time!"

"Easy, easy," His voice was soft and it reminded me of my mothers. Tears welled up in my eyes.

"I'm not angry at you." He placed the knife behind him on the floor and turned his hand out towards me.

I stared at him blankly as the silent tears continued to fall down my face.

"You're killing me, kid," he whispered softly, still keeping his hand towards me.

I licked my lips nervously and glanced towards the door and the finally back to my cousin's face.

"Hey, hey," his voice was light, "it's me, Patroclus. Me, Achilles." He emphasized the last two words, pausing briefly. "I'm not gonna hurt you."

And when I didn't move, he added, "You know that, Cousin. You do."

"You were...," I broke off my sentence. "Please don't beat me with that-,"

"Patroclus, I could never," he confirmed, as he scooted closer pulling me into a tight embrace. I stiffened under his touch and kept replying his words over in my mind 'never.'

"It's me. You needn't fear me," he tightened his hug as my tears turned to sobs. His arms were the arms that chased away the nightmares and protected me from harms. The hands that I grab, when I need extra help crossing the river into the woods, and the hands that show me how to expertly handle a sword. His eyes were soft, like my father's and voice gently, like my mother's.

"Achilles," the words flowed from my mouth between sobs, as I finally realized that this was my cousin. My cousin that I trusted. And with another loud sob, I relaxed into his embrace.

"That's better, little cousin," He rubbed my back, and rocked me gently back and forth in his arms. "Shhh, shhh, you're safe," he continued to rock back and forth as I cried into his shoulder.

After a few moments, he leaned back staring at my face. "Are you okay, now?"

I hiccuped, but managed to nod.

"You know," he began as he reached up drying one eye with the back of his thumb, "you are a part of lucky group."

Seeing that he had my full attention, he smiled lightly. "You never have to fear me, Patroclus. Not many can say that," he finished, wiping my other eye dry.

I tiredly leaned my head against his chest. "Promise?"

He leaned down kissing the top of my head, "On my life. I would never hurt you, little cousin."

I nodded in reply, knowing that he was telling the truth.

He rubbed my back gently, as he leaned his own head against the wall. "You nearly gutted me back there, kid," he mumbled as he closed his own eyes. "I don't think I can stand you being afraid of me."

"You're my protector." I offered up the only thing that came to mind. The only thing that finally made me realize that Achilles was telling the truth and not going to harm me.

He squeezed me gently, "That's right."

"I'm sorry," my face hide in the crock of his shoulder again, this time in embarrassment.

"Patrcolus," he whispered lowly, "It is okay. You were scared." He paused as he pushed some of the hair out of my eyes, but I still refused to look at him. "I'm sorry that you had to see that."

I shivered against him thinking about what I saw back in the garden. "When I tell you to stay, " he voice was low but still gentle, "it's for your own good. Sometimes I have to do things that may seem cruel...it's part of my role."

I peered up at his face now, and he thumbed my nose affecitionatly. "I'm not angry with you. Fear is a normal reaction to what you experienced. Just promise that you'll remember what I told you..."

His intense blue eyes met mine and I nodded in response. "I don't have to fear you."

"No matter what is going on, what I've did, or even," he grinned down at me at me, "when you get a little older and start getting into your own trouble. I may be angry, but I want you to remember that you can always come to me."

"I'm a lucky few." He nodded pleased that the lesson had stuck.

I leaned back now, staring at my guardian curiously. "But what did he do?" I whispered.

"I don't want to lie to you," he mumbled, moving me from his lap to the floor beside him.

I copied his stance leaning my hand against the wall, peering at him from the side of my eye. "Hesperos, betrayed me. Betrayed his brothers"

I turned my head to stare at him blankly. He opened one of his blue eye and peered down at me, "It could have caused us - you - to have been killed."

"Why?"

He sighed lightly, and turned his head fully toward me. "Why what?".

"Why would he do that?"

"Many reasons, Patroclus. Sometimes people are just wicked."

"Are you going to kill him?"

"I don't know," Achilles sighed again and leaned his head back against the wall. "He use to be a friend."

Achilles held up his hand to silence any more questions. "Enough about this for now. You'll understand when you're older."

"But-,"

"Just trust me on this."

I sighed this time, but nodded.

He grinned at me and stood, walking toward my knife. "Now about this," he questioned, kicking it with his toe. "Where did my young cousin, find such a vicious weapon?"

I felt my cheeks color slightly and licked my lips. "It was my father's."

Instead of questioning me, he simply nodded. "Want to learn how to properly use it? So you don't cut yourself?"

"Really? Can I?"

He chuckled, bending down to pick it up, and then offered his other hand to me. "Of course.."

I nodded then and reached for his open hand. He squeezed it tightly and we slowly walked back to the training tent.

The day I learned about traitors and what happens to them, was also the first day I learned to fight.

**A/N:**

So what did you think of the prologue. I plan on picking up chapter 1, with Patroclus about the same age he was in the movie. No promises as when that chapter will be up - it may take a little while. So if you want to keep up, be sure to follow this story.

And comments always appreciated.


	2. Left Behind

**A/N: **Chapter one is finally here. Hope you enjoy :)

"My beloved Mother and Cousin." Achilles stands, and the room grows eerily silent as everyone turns to look at him. At the head of the table, dressed in his blue robe and plain sandals, he holds the air of a warrior. And it is obvious, he still commands respect even outside of battle.

His body is tense as if someone was planning an attack at any momet. If someone was brave enough to attack him in his own house, then I wished them the best, cause they must have balls of steel. His sword hangs from his hip, while his right hand twitches restlessly at his side, ready to grab the hilt at any moment.

Always be prepared for anything is a common motto that repeats during training. At least he practices what he teaches.

"And my dear guest," he reaches forward gesturing towards the others at the table, before picking up his glass. "A toast."

My insides squeezes together as a smile plasters across my cousin's face.

No. Not yet. Not so soon.

The small group of ten that were invited to the dinner, slowly exchange knowing glances, and pick up their glass. Odysseues nods at Eudorus, who smiles slightly.

My body is tense and my fingers grip the wooden table for support. How long would this battle last?

"I've heard the news. And have decided that we'll-,"

"NO!" Everybody in the room stiffens and slowly turn towards the voice - my voice. My heart slams into my chest encouraging me to shut up, but I raise my chin and meet their gaze. "Don't say it."

The silent room's attention shifts back towards Achilles with curiosity. How was he going to deal with his cousin's rude outburst?

Achilles didn't flinch under their gaze. His eyes linger on me a moment, and then he sits his drink down.

"Patroclus," Achilles eyebrows pull together in a frown,"Do you've something to say?"

A million different phrases pass through my head, but I'm only able to get out one word, "Don't."

Don't? It sounds crazy to me now and I wish that I could clearly express me feelings. I feel my ears start to turn burn and wonder if it is noticeable in this light.

"Don't?" He questions because everyone else appears to afraid to speak, "don't what, exactly, Cousin?"

I want to spit out my frustration but don't know how to express the growing anger.

But he knows. He knows that he's about to leave me for another war. "It's too soon," it surprises me how menacing my own voice sounds.

"Not now, Patroclus." Thetis interrupts, standing to her feet. We now make a perfect triangle around the table, with Thetis and Patroclus at one end and me in the middle. "These concerns are for a later time."

The tension in the room is tight, and I turn my head towards Achilles's mother. "It'll be too late then." Her jaw is set and her face shows that she is angry at my outburst, especially in front of company.

And maybe, cause she knows that my words hold a hint of truth.

"Patroclus," she smiles nervously at our table full of guest. "I'm telling you again, drop this for now."

"I will not," I turn stubbornly back towards Achilles, no longer caring what our esteemed guest thought.

"Achilles, cousin, I never took you as one to be pressured into anything." My eyes cut deliberately towards Odysseues and then back to Achilles.

"PATROCLUS." Thetis gasps loudly. "Do not speak to your cousin or his guests in that manner." She steps away from the table and towards me.

Thinking that she was about to slap me, my body tenses. Instead she grips my shoulder tightly. "Leave us," she points with her free hand.

My ears burn along with my whole face at the realization that I am being treated like a child, and sent from them room. "Cousin," my eyes plead toward him for help.

"No," Achilles's dark face glares across the table, stopping my protest. "Do as she says, Patroclus." He reaches for the goblet again, eyes still lingering on me, before turning back to his guest.

When I didn't move instantly, Thetis drags me from the table with her firm grip. "Foolish Child," she hisses, and my feet trip trying to catch up with my shoulder still in her clutch.

"I'm not a child." My eyes peer behind me at the table were Achilles has once again taken his seat. A servant begins serving the first course when he nods. He doesn't look towards us anymore.

"Then stop acting like such," her voice returns coldly, as she whirls back around on me. Only softening when she follows my gaze towards the table adding, "I know it's hard for you when he's gone."

"Do you know?" I question feeling betrayed by the smile on my cousin's face. Turning away from the room and him, I walk past Thetis and out the door.

My own room feels like a dungeon. The fact that laughter is echoing down the hallway doesn't help my mood.

My cousin is leaving again. Leaving me behind.

My window is open letting a soft ocean breeze flow through. It calls to me, and I walk towards the opening and slide out the window.

My hands and knees catch me and my body instantly relaxes. Feeling the dirt beneath my hands and breathing the fresh air helps. I inhale deeply then stand.

My feet know exactly were to take me, and they automatically set off down the worn trail towards the garden. And my favorite hiding spot.

My body springs over the gate with ease, and I jog the rest of the way to the tree, swinging up on to the first branch.

The garden is not very large, but it is tucked away neatly against the house. Usually, it is abandoned. Today is no exception, and I'm thankful for the privacy as I climb higher into the tree.

From the top of the tree, you can see for miles and miles out to the sea. Many of evenings have been spent there, perched on a branch, waiting for Achilles to return from one of his battles.

The sour taste returns to my mouth and I know it doesn't matter what I say or do, Achilles will leave again.

And I'll be stuck here. Waiting.

OoooO

The gate squeaks breaking me out of my dazed thoughts. It has only been about half an hour since my rude interruptions at dinner.

His walks like a lion across the small garden towards the tree, and if the gate had not of alerted me to his presence, he would have surprised me.

He squints up towards the top of the tree. The setting sun is playing in my favor, keeping me hidden from his view.

"I know you're up there," he pulls his hand above his eyes to block the sun.

My anger has cooled, but his choice to leave again still stings, so I don't respond.

"Patroclus," he tries again, and when no answer comes, he turns and sits against the tree.

"You do realize that I should be the one who is angry with you."

I bite my lip to keep from answering.

"You caused a scene and Thetis sent you from the room."

My ears begin to heat again.

"You know I'm always on your side, but she had every right to ask you to leave."

"More like drag me to the door," I offer bitterly as I thought of the memory.

"Ahhh...," His voice is light and I know he is grinning, "you do still speak. Scared me there for a moment."

Grabbing a nearby apple, I bite into its side, hopping that a full mouth will keep me from talking.

"Come now, Little Cousin, don't pout. What's done is done," he peers up towards the side of the tree where he first heard my voice.

"I'm as big as you now," I return and pieces of apple shoot from my mouth. The rest of the half eaten fruit drops from my hand, in hopes that it will hit him in the head.

The apple falls at his feet with a squashing noise. "And, oh so mature," he grunts, kicking the smushed apple off the top of his boots.

Happy that the apple had hit at least his shoes, a wide grin spreads across my face. "Opps."

"Patroclus," his standing again, and uses his whole arm this time to look up at me. "Come out of that tree, we need to talk about this."

My knuckles grip the limb tighter in silent protest. "Save your breath, Cousin. I already know your news."

"Oh?" His voice is light. Curious. Why shouldn't it be? He is about to embark on another one of his great adventures. Leaving his annoying little cousin behind.

He has agreed to become a part - yet again - of Agamemnon's plot. This is hard to understand because of all the people in Greece, my cousin hates the king and his brother the most.

"I was there when Odysseues approached you, remember?"

He chuckles lightly, which only serves to dampen my own mood more."Of course, but -,"

"I know you, Cousin." It is his nature to never turn down a chance for fame. A chance to be remembered forever. "You accepted. You were gonna announce it at dinner."

He sighs and turns his back towards the tree.

His action confirm my suspicion. I am to be left behind again, while he pursues battle and glory.

"Yes, I accepted," he announces. "And I cannot apologize for that."

Aggravated that he is still going and that he can read me so well (even from a distance), I grab another fruit and drop it below.

This one hit his shoulder and bounces off to the side.

"I'll chop this tree down," he grumbles, as he rubs his shoulder. He wasn't serious, but my fingers wrap around another apple as if to challenge him.

Eying my target carefully, the third piece of fruit falls with more accuracy and cracks against his skull. The fruit splits leaving red, mushed up chunks on his head while the rest falls to his feet.

The great warrior freezes in momentary shock. He lifts his hand to his forehead, swiping at the fruit on his face. As if he didn't believe it, he pulls his hand back in front of him staring at the apple.

I try to bite back my laughter but fail. Achilles looks so ridiculous standing below me covered in chunks of apple. And it feels good to be the one that dropped it, like it had let out my frustration.

Shaking his head, he peers back up at me. "Have your laughs, my dear little Cousin."

My chuckles become full blown laughter and he shakes his head again.

"I wanted you to climb down so we could talk about this," he calls as he furiously wipes the rest of the apple from the top of his head, "like ADULTS." He emphasizes the last word loudly, as he sling the last remaining chunk of apple to the ground.

"I guess, Patroclus. If you will not come down," Achilles announces, dropping his sword from his hip and leaning it against the tree. "Then I must climb up."

The laughter instantly dies in my throat. Reaching for another apple, I think about dropping it, but know this won't stop him.

"Drop another apple," he dares me knowingly as his head appears through the bottom branches. The rest of his body gracefully follows.

Eying me still above him, he quickly climbs the remaining branches finding the exact foot holds with ease. He sits opposite me now, fixing me with his deep questioning gaze.

"Nice place," he comments looking around.

And when I don't speak, he frowns, "Patroclus, about earlier."

"I know it was childish and uncalled for...," I turn from his face not wanting him to see the tears that were trying to form. Warriors do not cry.

I imagine his eyes narrowed at my back. "True, but you didn't let me finish my news."

"What? That you're gonna be gone for six months this time?" I didn't try to keep the bitterness from my voice.

His hand touches my shoulder and squeezes. "Maybe, but that's not my news."

I turn my head slightly. "What then, Great Warrior?"

He snorts. "Well, I was gonna say you get to come with me, but with an attitude like...," his voice fades.

I almost fall from the branch when I jerk my body back towards him, sputtering. "What? What did you say?"

He smiles, grasping my arm to keep me from falling. "Well that is if you really want to come along."

"Of course." "Yes" "Please." My words are coming out of my mouth before my mind could process them.

He laughs out rightly now. "Odysseues and Eudorus convinced me that you were ready."

My ears heat again with the mention of Odysseues's name. I had acted like a fool in front of Achilles's friends.

"Yes, Patroclus, the toast was for you."

My whole face burns now and I pray that Achilles cannot see the embarrassing color. "I've shamed you then."

Squeezing my shoulder again, "Nah, you are only passionate about what you think. That makes a good warrior."

"Really think so?"

"Know so."

"Really Achilles," Thetis interrupts, peering up at us through the trees, "I hate it when he climbs this tree, you shouldn't encourage him."

It is dusk now, and she can easily see our shapes among the branches and fruit.

Achilles shoots me a look and then slides off the branch, dropping to the ground in one leap. It was so graceful that I thought about dropping another apple out of envy.

"Sorry, mother," he stands, kissing her cheek. "Just having a little talk."

It is not till then that I notice the plate of food in Thetis's hand. My stomach gives a rumble of approval. It wasn't use to skipping meals.

Following Achilles example, I scoot off the branch and drop. My stomach clinches as I fall and then my feet crash against the ground. Surprised that I made it, my body stumbles forward. My hands reach out to catch the ground so that I don't hit my face, but Achilles catches me around the waist.

Standing again, I grunt my thanks and then meet Thetis gaze.

Thetis eyes me carefully and then shakes her head. "I hear food on the high sea isn't that good."

I take the offered plate, smiling sheepishly, "I'm sorry."

She nods, all anger now gone. "I really do understand, Patroclus."

And this time, it is her that turns and leaves.

"Eat up, lad." Achilles slaps me on the back. "She's right. Food that we can actually pack gets old quickly. And we're leaving in the morning."

I'd eat my own foot if that I meant I could go. Instead of saying this, I nod and follow Thetis towards the house.

He was leaving in the morning for Troy. Only, this time, I get to go too. I am going to Troy.

"And, Patroclus?"

"Yes?" I start to turn, when something hard smacks against my face. It splits open causing sticky juice to run down my jaw.

"Oops."

My hands are still tightly wrapped around my dinner, so I shake my head back and forth trying to get the apple off the side of my heax.

This cause him to howl with laughter as he jogs up beside me, nudging me in the ribs with a wink, "Remember your place, hmmm, Little Cousin?"

I laugh too and follow him into the house, with dinner in my hands, apple on my face, and excitement in my eyes.

A/N: Feedback inspires me to keep working forward. So click comment and let me know what you think.


	3. Late Night Chat

**A/N:** Hello FanFiction people. Hope all is well. I know that it has been a while since I have updated this fic. So, I hope you enjoy this fluffy-ish chapter. It's short, but Achilles and Patroclus have a brief midnight talk. As always no slash.

Also, because some of you asked: Patroclus is about six or seven in the prologue. And he is about the same age as the movie in the rest of the chapters.

Thanks for all of the support and enjoy.

**OoooO**

The scream causes me to flinch, and I blink frantically around the room trying to see who was upset.

Head pounding against my temple, my heart squeezes as a hand grips my shoulder.

"Shhh, Patrolcus." Achilles's concerned face appears above me. The pressure leaves my shoulder, and gently wipes at my face. "It was just a dream, Cousin."

Blinking a couple of times at Achilles's dark form, my head nods in agreement. "Just a dr- dream." I wince as my voice cracks. That was me screaming?

Achilles's frown deepens. "Are you well, Cousin? You were screaming like a dying warrior. Scared me to no end."

Shuddering at the his choice of words, I nod again, afraid that he would see my nightmares as a weakness. "Very well, Cousin, I leave with you and your men today. Are we leaving already?"

Changing the subject seemed the best way to distract him from my nightmares and any farther question. "This is true," he peers thoughtfully at me, then shakes his head. "Not yet though. Get some sleep, Patroclus. Morning will be here soon."

Licking my lips, my body eases back into my small bed wanting to appease him. Fiendish thoughts from my nightmare race through my head though, and it will be only luck if sleep comes at all. "Want me to wake early to help you pack the ship cargo?"

"Not your job, Cousin." Achilles turns, walking to a small basin, dipping a cloth in water. Silently, he wipes the remaining sweat from the nightmare off of my face.

The cool water surprisingly relaxes me. "What is my job then?"

"Listening. Learning. Obeying."

The three words seemed simple enough, but I read through their basic meaning. "So..stay out of the way?"

He chuckles, throwing the damp cloth back towards the basin, and then he sits beside me on the bed. "Cousin, you are young yet. I'm still not convinced that taking you is the right choice."

My stomach knots for the second time tonight. "What? But it is, I swear to be a loyal solider Achilles."

He nods his approval, bringing his hand back to my face. "I know, Patroclus. But surely, you understand my worry."

"Besides, are you sure you're ready to take my commands? And listen to all I say?"

I nod emphatically, "Of course, Cousin, of course."

"Patroclus, you're gonna see a whole new world. Experience the thrill AND the sorrow of battle. And you're not gonna understand some of my commands. You have to promise that you'll stand down when asked." He fixes me with a dark stare. "Promise me?"

The concern and worry eased from his face, as I nod. "Yes, Cousin. I promise."

"Good," he flops down in the bed beside me. "Now scoot over, your nightmares have messed up my beauty rest. And I have to be looking my best when all the fair ladies see us off tomorrow."

Rolling a few inches to make room for my cousin's large body, he scoots under the warm blankets. My body instantly relaxes as he slings a protective arm around me. "We will get to the bottom of these nightmares, I swear it, Cousin." He mumbles into my hair tiredly.

Glad that he isn't far and that nightmares seem to stay away when he is near, my eyes flutter close.

"My baby cousin going to war," Achilles mumbles and I know he's already half asleep.

"Hey," he grunts as I elbow him in the side.

"I'm almost as tall as you," I remind him for the second time tonight.

He chuckles sleepily, and pulls me closer. "Rest, O'tall Cousin. Tomorrow will be here soon."

And because I promised him that I would, I obey his command and let fatigue take me to a dreamless sleep.

**OoooO**

**A/N: **Thanks so much for reading. And for your continued support of this story. I know this chapter was short. BUT I already have the next chapter wrote. So after I reread and proof it a tad, it'll be posted soon. And it is a bit longer.

So what did you think of this chapter?


	4. First Taste

**A/N:** Yay! The next chapter is here. Hope you enjoy reading this - it was fun to write. Also, this chapter is dedicated to all the great people that have been supporting this story so far. Love y'all and enjoy!

The contents of lunch slosh around inside my stomach. Achilles assures me that my sea legs will adapt to the rocking boat soon enough.

My stomach lurches again, and I care nothing about sea legs, as long as I can find my sea stomach.

Grasping the railing, my light lunch finds itself mixing with the sea. Miserable, I groan in protest, afraid that even the slightest movement will make me sick again.

The waves slosh against the boat gently, men hum and sing to themselves around the deck, and I wonder why I'm the only one who feels like I'm about to die on this sunny day at sea.

"Still sick?" Achilles appears, seemingly knowing when illness strikes. He frowns deeply causing the skin between his eyebrows to scrunch together. It has been three days at sea, with no improvement, and today has been the worse.

"I'm-I'm okay, just-," Gripping the side of the rocking ship, I dry heave towards the water. But my stomach is empty, and I groan pathetically.

A firm hand takes my elbow pulling me away from the edge of the ship. "You don't seem okay." His hand drops from my elbow, only to return around my waist. "Fetch, Patroclus, some fresh water. And maybe a bit of Ale." He calls out to the nearest Myrmidon, who instantly stops swabbing the deck to do as he was directed.

My vision blurs and my stomach churns, but I fight against the bitter bile in my throat. "You shouldn't... shouldn't...baby me." I whisper as he continues to drag me towards his cabin. "They'll think I am weak."

He grunts. "Spewing your guts across the seven seas, and mumbling how you want to die, doesn't really make you seem like a fearless warrior."

A groan escapes my lips this time, cause I know he's right. "I think I am dying, Cousin."

"You're not dying," he say fiercely as his grip tightens around my waist.

My legs wobble underneath and my vision blurs. "Damn, land loving legs," my voice is as shaky as my legs.

My legs fight for balance, but instead give out and buckle underneath me. And I groan as the deck rushes up to meet me, wondering if maybe I really am dying.

Instead of my face being introduced to the deck, Achilles's arm tightens and swings me forward into his chest. "You don't weigh nothing. How long have you been feeling ill?" He grunts, as he easily pulls me up into both arms.

Feeling faint, my head falls against his chest, and Achilles frowns down at me mumbling something that I cannot hear.

"Never earn any respect," My voice breaks, and my stomach churns while the boat drops causing my head to spin, and then I saw blackness.

OoooO

Everything in my body aches. Not the good ache that comes after a hard training session with my cousin, but a deep cannot think or breathe ache.

"He is burning up, Eudurous."

Trying to turn towards my cousin's voice, my body burns and I instantly still myself against the soft bedding.

"A couple other of the Myrmidon are experiencing similar symptoms." Symptoms?Forcing my head and body to turn this time, a low groan escapes my lips, as I managed to turn towards the voices.

Achilles is at my side instantly, pushing the hair off of my sweaty forehead.  
"Am I ill?"

"'Fraid So," Eudurous grunts out, crossing the room to me. "And being at sea for the first time doesn't help matters."

"Thank God,"

"Excuse me?" Achilles questions, poking me in the side, "You're glad you're ill?"

Cracking my eyes slightly, I start to nod my head, but instantly still when my temples ache and my stomach drops. "Just glad that I still have a chance to find my sea legs."

Achilles chuckles softly and reaches for the Ale. "This will help settle your stomach, lad." Sliding an arm around my shoulder, he sinks on to the bed with me. Lifting my body up against his chest. I groan in protest and I bite my tongue to keep from puking on my cousin.

"I'll fetch you some crackers. And I'll send in someone with some the medicine that we packed." Eudurous mumbles and then excuses himself from the room.

"You'll find your sea legs yet, Little Cousin. Here give this a sip," he encourages as he brings the Ale towards my lips. Wrinkling my nose at the strong smell, I tighten my lips in disgust.

""Tis just a bit of weak beer to help settle your stomach, Patroclus." Achilles coaxes as he lifts my head with his free hand. "Drink."

Shaking my head barely, he sighs. "At least I don't have to worry about you becoming a drunkard. Now drink this, before I have to pry your mouth open and pour it in myself. You know I will, Cousin."

Grunting my frustration, I open my mouth and allow the warm liquid to hit my tongue. The taste almost makes me gag, but the warm bubbles dance in my stomach and settling some of my nausea. And then the warmth slowly spreads to my whole body easing some of the pain.

Achilles lowers me back down to his feather mattress.

"It'll help you relax too, Cousin." Achilles mumbles, as he downs the rest of the Ale himself. I wanted to warn him about germs, but fatigue was getting the best of me. Besides, did demi-gods really worry about illnesses? Achilles could take on a whole army and come out to the better. It was hard to imagine him moaning and groaning like me, because of some silly illness.

He chuckled lightly again. "Illness and seasickness," he corrected gently. "And yes, I do get sick on occasion."

"Did I say that out loud?"

He nodded.

Crap.

He grins down at me. "Get some rest. You've a fever that we'll hopefully break soon. I'll be close. And when they bring the medicine and crackers, I'll wake you."

The thought of crackers made me stomach spin. I don't want to eat.

"Just a couple bites, huh? So you'll keep the medicine down."

Why do I keep saying everything out loud?

"Just sleep, Cousin. Eudurous has duties to see to before he returns. Others are sick too. Maybe by then you'll be up for a bit of food." Achilles still has his arm wrapped around me and pulls me to his chest. "Sleep, hmmm?"

I nod feeling my fatigue and the alcohol take over my system. Achilles's head is in my hair, and even though I should feel embarrassed to be treated like a little kid with a nightmare, I'm glad that he's here.

"I'm glad to be here. You're gonna be okay, Patroclus. Now sleep, little cousin." And his arm tightens around me causing me to relax into his embrace. Only one thing comes to mind as I sink back in blissful darkness.

I'm not little.

And then the faint sound of chuckles.

OoooO

Morning is heaven. The sea is still rocking the boat back and forth, but my stomach has settled.

I stretch slowly afraid that even the simplest movement will bring back my nausea. When my stomach doesn't lurch forward, I sit up and look around. The boat rocks, the planks groan above me, but I feel fine.

Tears prick my eyes in relief. That was the worse few days of my life.

"Your fever broke," Achilles voice cuts through my thoughts. He is standing by his desk and he looks very haggard. "Rough night. But you're okay. You're gonna be okay." He doesn't smile when he speaks, and his eyes are cold.

The acidic smell of vomit feels my nose then, and I turn to see a bucket near the bed. My cheeks heat as parts of the night flashes back towards me. Achilles forcing medicine and crackers down me throat. And them coming back up. Multiple times.

Following my gaze, Achilles crosses the room. "You are feeling better, right?"

When I nod, Achilles smiles slightly. "It's early yet. Get some more rest," he picks up the bucket and turns to leave. "I'll pitch this and bring it back just in case."

"What happened?" my voice cracks and my throat feels like sand.

His eyebrows bunch. "You don't remember?"

"You were really sick, Patroclus." Achilles looks like he is about to cross the room back towards me, but he freezes.

"Achilles?"

"And I'll bring you some more water."

"Cousin-," I try again.

"Yes? What is it, Patroclus?" He eyes me wearily as if I'm going to be sick again.

"I can-,"

"NO!" His voice booms across the whole cabin, making me jump. "Don't you move," his body rigid and his gaze icy. "You need to rest before you're back up and around. I mean it, Patroclus."

"But-," Surely he didn't mean for me to stay in this cabin the whole trip?

Achilles eyes harden and he finally stalks towards me. "Do you know how sick you were last night?" Sitting the bucket back on the floor, he looms over me. "I thought I was going to lose you. Lose you, Patroclus. I shouldn't have let you come. It was too soon." His voice was dark, raw, and scarcely honest.

I gasped, feeling betrayed. He wish he hadn't brought me? "I can't help that I got sick-,"

His eyes narrow and his jaw ticks. "No, but you can keep yourself in this bed until you have regained your strength."

"Achilles, I'm okay now. A little fresh air-,"

"Patroclus, do NOT push me on this," Achilles turns leaving the bucket, and storms out of the room.

The noise from the outside world momentarily rushes inward when the door swings widely open, and I hear my cousin's voice barking out orders to whatever men are standing close.

Anger begins to build as I reply the conversation with Achilles over in my head. Keeping bound to the bed is not going to solve anything. He's treating me like a child.

Shuffling forward towards the edge, I stiffly force my feet toward the floor, and bite my lip nervously as I slowly stand.

"Sea Legs," I smile at the empty room, when I managed to stand without falling or becoming ill. "See that, Achilles? Sea legs!" The door doesn't swing open though, and I slowly shuffle forward.

If Achilles regrets bringing me already, then I'll have to prove to him that it was a good choice. And I'm not going to be able to do that from bed.

The sooner, I regain my strength the better. And to that, I need to inhale some fresh air.

Stopping in front of the door to catch my breath, I lean my ear against the rough wood listening for sounds of my cousin.

Silence.

Rolling my shoulders and raising my chin defiantly, I reach forward and push the cabin door open.

The salty sea air rushes forward, stripping away the rotten smell of the cabin, clearing my head, filling my lungs, and allowing me to enjoy for the first time my nausea-free view of the open sea.

Smiling towards the sea, I stretched my tired limbs. Fresh air was exactly what I needed.

**A/N**: Poor Pat feeling so sick. And we see his first taste of innocent defiance here. Gotta start building somewhere.

Also, I hope Achilles anger came across in this chapter the way I intended it. I may explain it a bit more in the next chapter, but Achilles is mad at himself. And taking it out on Pat. Did that read? Or not really?

Overall, what did you think?


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